im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Barsexuality is the new black.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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