Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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