sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
