I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
