What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
