Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
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Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
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Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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