Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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