Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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