i jhust puked up my retainher.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
