I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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