all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
