why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
