i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
