whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
