he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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