Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i need an iv and a liver transplant
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
