All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
