I can tuck mytits in my pants
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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