mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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