brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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