All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
