I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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