no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
