is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
