so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
