singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
