Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
