cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
