Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
