remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize