Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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