I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
