I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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