I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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