is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Randomize
