We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
