some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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