i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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