Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
