Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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