before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
