Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
