He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So much rum. So many feels.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
