If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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