YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
