just tell him i said nine months
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
