Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
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remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
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Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.