No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"