i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains