I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF