Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
