I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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