New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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