Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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