ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
