wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
