NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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