FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
