Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor