You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
