i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Everclear isn't food dammit