She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize